Am I really doing this?

The amount of times I’ve thought, Am I really doing this? in the past two weeks has been astronomical compared to the rest of my past 20 years. In particular, I’ve thought it twice in the last 24 hours.
Yesterday we went to Lomography, a film-camera store. I think I talked about it in a previous post on my personal blog. Yesterday, I was looking at a Diana camera. They had two models. One that shoots 120mm film that develops as square photos and one that shoot 35 mm film that develops as two inch by three inch photos. By design it’s a toy camera that gives photos a softer, more artsy effect. I think film would be fun to explore and Dylan said something about how excited he was to have his own print of a picture he took of the Eiffel Tower on his film camera the other. So naturally, that idea stuck with me and has been enticing me to want something similar.
Anyway, today I decided to go for it and I bought the Diana F+ Mr. Pink camera that shoots 120mm film. I’m going to be honest, I splurged, but I’m passionate about photography and I don’t know if I’ll ever get back here to take my own film photo of the Eiffel Tower. Plus, I know I’ll use the camera at home too.
Diana F+ Mr. Pink - picture from

Diana F+ Mr. Pink
– picture from

I bought a three pack of color film for the camera and am going to start setting it up after I’m done blogging. I’ve heard that your first roll of film is generally poor quality because you’re not entirely sure what you’re doing and you’re a little nervous, but hopefully that will add to the effect.
The second time I asked myself, “Am I really doing this?” was later tonight during a street performance. Andrea, Brittany and I were sitting by the river when a group of people wearing little clothes and lots of body paint set down speakers and started dancing. They were dancing awkwardly for about fifteen minutes, but they were having a good time and we were certainly enjoying it. After those fifteen minutes of dancing, the six performers started walking down an invisible catwalk and clapping. One of the performers turned to me and told me to start clapping, so I did. Then another performer came up to me and said, “Your turn.”
Am I really doing this? I really did walk the invisible runway in front of a crowd of people. I was fully clothed with no paint on my body, but the performers were excited about it anyway! They cheered when I blew them a kiss, and after I finished Andrea walked the catwalk too. The performer who got me to participate kissed my hand and thanked me. He told me and Andrea that the other five performers were all professional dancers (he was not, he was 50 he said), and they do this whenever they feel like it because they enjoy life and want to make people happy. Brittany videotaped the whole thing, and it was an amazing experience.

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